干货铺,超级评审团毒舌点评13封真实英文开发信，看看你有没有中招（一）

干货店，超级评审团毒舌评论13封真正的英文开发信，看你有没有中招(一)核心内容

                                                                                               

干货店，超级评审团毒舌点评13封真正的英文开发信，看你有没有中招(一)正文

       

   

   本文的目的是让您更好地了解如何通过电子邮件与潜在客户沟通。

   

   文章从一些外国销售代表那里提取了一些真正的开发信，并要求一些从业者发表评论。目的是帮助你在写开发信时更有效地理解收件人的真实感受和评论。

   

   阅读本文时的几个提示：

   

       

               因为这些开发信是外国人写的，发给外贸公司，评论的人也是外国人，所以一些文化差异需要灵活理解 评论主要集中在开发信的问题和不足上，所以我们应该理性地看待

       

   

   专业评审团介绍

   

       

   

   01 分享第一个开发信案例

   

       

   

   Richard Harris

   

   Founder & Owner,The Harris Consulting Group

   

   1st Paragraph is all about themselves,not about prospect. Your prospect rarely cares about you,your company,or what ranking you are. They only care if you can help them solve their problem as it relates to their role/company. Signature is much too big especially for mobile.

   

   第一段是关于你自己，而不是关于潜在客户。你的潜在客户很少关心你、你的公司或你的水平。他们只关心你是否能帮助他们解决问题，因为这与他们的角色/公司有关。签名比例太大，尤其是手机。

   

   Ralph Barsi

   

   Sr. Director Sales Development,ServiceNow

   

   When crafting emails,think in terms of texts or tweets.

   

   Write short sentences and paragraphs. Whenever you include a URL,shorten it using TinyURL or bit.ly. You can also remove the “http://www” and just hyperlink the address. For example,if the URL is “http://www.link. com,” hyperlink “link.com” with the full URL. Avoid yes/no questions. They can paint you into a corner. “Do you have time to chat?” No. Now what?

   

   写邮件时，以文本或微博的形式思考。

   

   写短句和段落。每当你包含一个URL时，使用TinyURL或bit.ly缩短它。还可以去掉 http://www只使用超链接地址。例如，如果URL是 “http://www.link. com，用完整的URL超链接 “link.com。避免使用 是/还是 的问题。它们会让你陷入困境。如果你问你有时间聊天吗？ ，然后当地人回答不，那里现在该怎么办？

   

   Heather Morgan

   

   CEO,SalesFolk

   

   The subject line is lame and generic.

   

   The intro is very self-focused,and jam-packed with jargon and dull features. The email itself is too long and has bullets,which never perform well in cold emails.

   

   主题词很差，很一般。

   

   前言非常自我关注，并且塞满了专业术语和沉闷的功能。邮件本身太长，而且有列表，这在开发信邮件中的效果不好。

   

   David Dulany

   

   Founder & CEO,Tenbound

   

   This email is a classic shot in the dark. It shows no personalization or attempt to appeal to specific business issues. The first question I would ask is,does the recipient have anything to do with the vendor’s product? Are they the target persona? If not,don’t ruin your reputation with an email like this.

   

   这封电子邮件是典型的暗箭伤人。它没有表现出任何个性化或试图吸引特定业务的问题。我会问的第一个问题是，收件人和供应商的产品有什么关系吗？他们是目标人物吗？如果没有，不要用这样的电子邮件毁掉你的声誉。

   

   Jake Dunlap

   

   CEO,Skaled

   

   Every good emails first sentence or second says “why me” to the receiver. Why should I as the opener give a shit and why did you send to me specifically? This could copy and paste to a million people.

   

   每封好邮件的第一句或第二句话都会对收件人说 为什么要发给我。为什么要专门发给我？这可以复制粘贴给一百万人。

   

   Blake Harber

   

   Director of Sales Development,LucidCharts

   

   Be specific in your call to action. “Do you have 10 minutes on Friday?”

   

   在你的行动呼吁中，比如你周五有10分钟吗？

   

   Liz Cain

   

   VP Go-to-Market,Openview Partners

   

   There are 2 separate calls to action here (1. Advise on future projects and 2. a quick call). Avoid the yes/no and be more clear in your ask – why would your contact care to get on the phone with you?

   

   这里有两个独立的行动呼吁（1.对未来项目的建议和建议2.快速电话)。yes or no”的call to action，在你的问题中，更清楚为什么你的联系人电话？

   

   02 第二个开发信案例分享

   

       

   

   Steven Broudy

   

   Head of Sales Development Americas,Mulesoft

   

   The clear lack of quality research is painful. Five minutes exploring the Engagio Executive Team would lead an SDR to surface the fact that the founder came from Marketo,as did their VP of Sales and a number of other members of their team. This kind of “faux” research comes across as extremely disingenuous.

   

   明显缺乏高质量的研究是痛苦的Engagio高管团队可以在五分钟内让一个SDR创始人来自这里Marketo，他们的销售副总裁和其他团队成员也是如此。这种虚假 的研究极其不真实。

   

   Richard Harris

   

   Founder & Owner,The Harris Consulting Group

   

   Be relevant by focusing on the pains you solve. If you have use cases and case studies that match this individual,mention those when appropriate.

   

   注意你解决的痛点，要有针对性。如果您有与此人相匹配的案例和案例研究，请在适当的时候提及。

   

   Ralph Barsi

   

   Sr. Director Sales Development,ServiceNow

   

   Your email must talk about me and no one else,unless I might know specific people or companies you mention. Otherwise,talk about me,my company,my customers,my marketplace,and more about me. The third sentence is comprised of 35 words. That’s enough words for an entire email. Busy executives can’t even give colleagues 20 minutes of time,let alone you. Add value and time will appear.

   

   你的电子邮件必须谈论我而不是其他人，除非我可能知道你提到的特定的人或公司。否则，谈谈我，我的公司，我的客户，我的市场，以及更多关于我的事情。第三句话由35个单词组成，这足以使整封电子邮件的单词数量。忙碌的高管甚至不能给他们的同事20分钟，更不用说你了。只有提高你提供的价格价值、时间和机会才会出现。

   

   Ray Carroll

   

   VP of Sales,Engagio

   

   Signing this as “to your success” on the sig when you are clearly trying to swap them off something is a little bush league.

   

   在签名处写祝你成功 这个词，你显然想把它们换掉，这有点小题大做。

   

   Josh Hill

   

   Sr. Manager of Demand Generation,RingCentral

   

   Generally,it’s a bad idea to knock competitors and other firms. Some people think creating FUD (Fear,Uncertainty,Doubt) works (and sometimes it does),but to do so in a poor way is a good path to the trash bin.

   

   一般来说，打击竞争对手和其他公司是个坏主意。有人认为制造FUD(恐惧、不确定、怀疑)是有效的(有时候是真的)，但如果用不好的方式去做，就会被扔进垃圾箱。

   

   Heather Morgan

   

   CEO,SalesFolk

   

   It’s really generic and doesn’t focus on a clear enough benefit or pain point,and so it’s confusing what the company wants or what the point of this call would actually be.

   

   它真的很普通，不关注足够明确的好处或痛点，所以它对公司想要的是模糊的，或者电话的意义是什么。

   

   Liz Cain

   

   VP Go-to-Market,Openview Partners

   

   I can’t actually tell what this person is selling from the email. Assuming you are trying to replace Marketo,why bring up another competitor like Eloqua?

   

   其实我看不出这个人在邮件里卖什么。假设你想取代它Marketo，为什么要提出另一个竞争对手，比如Eloqua？

   

   Nicolette Mullenix

   

   Director of Sales Development,DynamicSignal

   

   This email talks about another company entirely rather. Your emails should tell a story about your customers and how people in my position from those companies benefit from your solution.

   

   这封电子邮件完全是关于另一家公司的。你的电子邮件应该讲述一个关于你客户的故事，以及这些公司的人如何从你的解决方案中受益。

   

   03 分享第三个开发信案例

   

       

   

   Ralph Barsi

   

   Sr. Director Sales Development,ServiceNow

   

   The title “Director of Sales” implies that you understand how to prospect. Therefore,represent the title well. Don’t “come across” people and their businesses,as if you weren’t looking for them,but,“Hey,there they are!” Asking Jon at the end of the email if he’s the right person is YOUR responsibility,not his. Do a quick search on LinkedIn.

   

   销售总监 这个头衔意味着你知道如何成为潜在客户。因此，你应该表现得很好，所以你应该故意搜索客户，而不是随意遇到客户。在电子邮件的结尾问Jon是否合适是你的责任，而不是他的责任，你可以LinkedIn快速搜索。

   

   Ray Carroll

   

   VP of Sales,Engagio

   

   If someone writes “plug and play” in an email to me it’s automate delete – too cliché.

   

   如果有人在邮件中写 即插即用，对我来说就是直接删除，太老套了。

   

   Josh Hill

   

   Sr. Manager of Demand Generation,RingCentral

   

   It’s a very sensitive issue for a firm. Most firms use Quicken or other tools and it’s pretty presumptuous to approach in this way.

   

   这对一家公司来说是一个非常敏感的问题。大多数公司都使用它Quicken或者其他工具，这样处理是很冒昧的。

   

   Heather Morgan

   

   CEO,SalesFolk

   

   This subject line is lame and boring,and this tactic has been used to death.

   

   No one cares that you “did research,” and just saying that is not nearly the same as demonstrating it. The email is feature-focused rather than benefit driven,making it especially boring and weak. This email is like a Frankenstein of cheap and lazy email tactics.

   

   这个主题词很差，很无聊，这个策略已经用完了。

   

   没有人关心你 做研究。只说这句话不同于展示这句话。这封电子邮件以功能为中心，而不是以利益为导向，使其特别无聊和软弱。这封电子邮件采用廉价和懒惰的电子邮件策略。

   

   David Dulany

   

   Founder & CEO,Tenbound

   

   Jon has nothing to do with this function,unless maybe he’s CEO of a two-person company. With a little more digging,the sender could have found that right person,who may be open to the message.

   

   乔恩与这个功能无关，除非他可能是一家两人公司CEO。只要再挖一次，发件人就能找到合适的人，他可能会对这个消息持开放态度。

   

   Blake Harber

   

   Director of Sales Development,LucidCharts

   

   Are you really interested in learning more about each other? I’m never a big fan of the “cover up”. Call it how it is. Be specific as to what you really want.

   

   你真的有兴趣多了解对方吗？我从来不喜欢 掩耳盗铃。具体表达你真正想要的。

   

   Liz Cain

   

   VP Go-to-Market,Openview Partners

   

   The opening line is weak and comes off as a bulk email. What research were you doing? What made you reach out to me?

   

   开场白很弱，看起来像批量邮件。你在做什么研究？是什么让你主动联系我？

   

   未完待续…(来源:红板砖开发信)

   

   以上内容属于作者个人观点，不代表跨境网的立场！本文经原作者授权转载，转载经原作者授权同意。